"My Life in Pieces"
by Gina Hazzard
A Su mi Familia
What is something that belongs to you, but others use it more than you?
Simple, your name. But, my name isn't important; it's just another cryptic question given by the Riddler. And I don't think it will ever be more than just a riddle.
My entire life was a jigsaw puzzle, with a missing piece. It’s becoming hard for me to accept that my picture will not be complete. I push myself to be picture perfect, but that’s impossible, especially when I look at all of the mistakes I made. At this point in time, I don’t know why those mistakes were made; they were idiotic, but you can’t get a hot tub and go back in time.
My mama was a doormat, letting everyone walk over her. But I didn't. You see the one thing that wasn't a riddle was my love for my mama. My love for her was as clear as glass. I would do anything for her. But I don't think I let her know that enough. There was a time in my life when I was sheltered from the harsh reality, yet I took that for granted. At the time, I didn’t know that I was taking it for granted. I think back to the time where I didn’t know better and trusted everyone with an unsheltered heart. Way back when my mama would say “I love you higher than the stars and the moon in the sky,” with me cuddled in her arms, holding on tightly to the one constant in my life. I would fill with a warmth only a mother could provide. In all, she was the wood that would get burned by my father’s fire.
Father, papa, daddy. All those things would be used to describe the only man in my life, even though I don’t have a choice. I don’t hate my father by any means, but there are times where I wonder if life would be better without him. I know that this is something that shouldn’t be said, but hearing the late night screaming matches between my parents, causes my heart to clench in the most painful way. Hearing the “BANG” of a slamming door, causes me to flinch in my seat. One day I wonder if he will snap, but I hope the day will never come. I know that this may be accountable to his “disability,” but I can’t help myself from feeling the admiration of a girl for her father, yet feel disappointment at the same time.
I hope that I can find myself before it is too late.
Mi Casa es Su Casa
I have heard plenty of people say, “Home is where the heart is.”
And it is 100% true. My whole life has been devoid of a stable home. For 12 years of my life, I lived at 507 West Springfield Road. It was a fairly moderate home and placed right next to my Aunt and Uncle. I had the room that was at the top of the steps to your left, and my old toy room turned awkward pre-teen hangout area. But, these were only the places that I lived. They were rooms in a house that would be sold to others, meaning I couldn’t run my fingers across rough wood of the banister. My old yard would belong to a contractor who would build, and try to sell, an overly priced house. No more waking up to the scent of fresh cut grass. No more tasting the fresh air that belonged to my house. Nothing would belong to me, and that is how it would always be.
Until the year of 2015-16, I lived in that house. Just lived. Now, I live in an apartment that someone else owns, with my parental figures who are climbing up their ranks. I don't know the real reason as to why we had to leave the house, but I have my suspicions. I could be Nancy Drew searching for clues, but I'm afraid of the answers that I may receive. There is one thing that I have investigated, though, and that is where my home lies.
My home is wherever my mom is. I know at this point, that something as superfluous doesn't last forever, unlike a mother's love. This is something that could pass the test of time. What I'm trying to say is, the place that I'm living in now, could be taken down in 20 years, and that won't affect me. But what would is something that I would never want to speak of.
It seemed like the end of the world when I moved, but I couldn't be more grateful. I got amazing friends and… and… and… that's about it. Kidding, maybe not, but this is one thing that can be taken as a learning experience.
Let's just hope that one day I can someone's “home.”
El Futuro de mi Vida
Since the year of 1970 till 2010, the percentage of women physicians have grown by 22.7%.
By the time I'm out of college, I hope to contribute to these numbers. And one thing is for sure, I will not let my home life deter me from achieving my goal. Whether it be a financial problem or a personal issue, nothing can stop. ‘Cause you know what they say, “If there's a will, there's a way.”
I can see it now: graduating high school with all honors, going to a top med school, and becoming one of the best doctors out there. I know this may make me sound controlling and cocky, but I know what I want for myself. And this is more than what most 14-year olds can say.
No matter what my life turns out to be, one thing is for certain; I will not leave those who mean the most to me behind. My mom, dad, friends will all be a part of my life if I can help it. The fame, the fortune, will mean nothing to me, they will only be a bonus. The only thing that is important to me is helping those who can't help themselves.
I can debate with myself all I want if I will be good enough to make it in this dog eat dog world. I can doubt myself my whole and never amount to anything. I can go through life taking the easy route, but the taking the tougher road is worth more, with the experiences and lessons learned. I may hit rock bottom or make it big, but I'll never forget why I pushed myself to do this in the first place.
Along the way, I hope to fall in love and have the 2.5 kids, dog, and white picket fence life. But this is something that may not happen. And I'm okay with that. I'll be happy enough to have my mother’s unconditional love throughout my life. And with that in my, I can go on with my life.
I will go through my life making mistakes but trying to succeed. Like Thomas Edison said, “I have not failed. I just found 10,000 ways that won't work.”
What is something that belongs to you, but others use it more than you?
Simple, your name. But, my name isn't important; it's just another cryptic question given by the Riddler. And I don't think it will ever be more than just a riddle.
My entire life was a jigsaw puzzle, with a missing piece. It’s becoming hard for me to accept that my picture will not be complete. I push myself to be picture perfect, but that’s impossible, especially when I look at all of the mistakes I made. At this point in time, I don’t know why those mistakes were made; they were idiotic, but you can’t get a hot tub and go back in time.
My mama was a doormat, letting everyone walk over her. But I didn't. You see the one thing that wasn't a riddle was my love for my mama. My love for her was as clear as glass. I would do anything for her. But I don't think I let her know that enough. There was a time in my life when I was sheltered from the harsh reality, yet I took that for granted. At the time, I didn’t know that I was taking it for granted. I think back to the time where I didn’t know better and trusted everyone with an unsheltered heart. Way back when my mama would say “I love you higher than the stars and the moon in the sky,” with me cuddled in her arms, holding on tightly to the one constant in my life. I would fill with a warmth only a mother could provide. In all, she was the wood that would get burned by my father’s fire.
Father, papa, daddy. All those things would be used to describe the only man in my life, even though I don’t have a choice. I don’t hate my father by any means, but there are times where I wonder if life would be better without him. I know that this is something that shouldn’t be said, but hearing the late night screaming matches between my parents, causes my heart to clench in the most painful way. Hearing the “BANG” of a slamming door, causes me to flinch in my seat. One day I wonder if he will snap, but I hope the day will never come. I know that this may be accountable to his “disability,” but I can’t help myself from feeling the admiration of a girl for her father, yet feel disappointment at the same time.
I hope that I can find myself before it is too late.
Mi Casa es Su Casa
I have heard plenty of people say, “Home is where the heart is.”
And it is 100% true. My whole life has been devoid of a stable home. For 12 years of my life, I lived at 507 West Springfield Road. It was a fairly moderate home and placed right next to my Aunt and Uncle. I had the room that was at the top of the steps to your left, and my old toy room turned awkward pre-teen hangout area. But, these were only the places that I lived. They were rooms in a house that would be sold to others, meaning I couldn’t run my fingers across rough wood of the banister. My old yard would belong to a contractor who would build, and try to sell, an overly priced house. No more waking up to the scent of fresh cut grass. No more tasting the fresh air that belonged to my house. Nothing would belong to me, and that is how it would always be.
Until the year of 2015-16, I lived in that house. Just lived. Now, I live in an apartment that someone else owns, with my parental figures who are climbing up their ranks. I don't know the real reason as to why we had to leave the house, but I have my suspicions. I could be Nancy Drew searching for clues, but I'm afraid of the answers that I may receive. There is one thing that I have investigated, though, and that is where my home lies.
My home is wherever my mom is. I know at this point, that something as superfluous doesn't last forever, unlike a mother's love. This is something that could pass the test of time. What I'm trying to say is, the place that I'm living in now, could be taken down in 20 years, and that won't affect me. But what would is something that I would never want to speak of.
It seemed like the end of the world when I moved, but I couldn't be more grateful. I got amazing friends and… and… and… that's about it. Kidding, maybe not, but this is one thing that can be taken as a learning experience.
Let's just hope that one day I can someone's “home.”
El Futuro de mi Vida
Since the year of 1970 till 2010, the percentage of women physicians have grown by 22.7%.
By the time I'm out of college, I hope to contribute to these numbers. And one thing is for sure, I will not let my home life deter me from achieving my goal. Whether it be a financial problem or a personal issue, nothing can stop. ‘Cause you know what they say, “If there's a will, there's a way.”
I can see it now: graduating high school with all honors, going to a top med school, and becoming one of the best doctors out there. I know this may make me sound controlling and cocky, but I know what I want for myself. And this is more than what most 14-year olds can say.
No matter what my life turns out to be, one thing is for certain; I will not leave those who mean the most to me behind. My mom, dad, friends will all be a part of my life if I can help it. The fame, the fortune, will mean nothing to me, they will only be a bonus. The only thing that is important to me is helping those who can't help themselves.
I can debate with myself all I want if I will be good enough to make it in this dog eat dog world. I can doubt myself my whole and never amount to anything. I can go through life taking the easy route, but the taking the tougher road is worth more, with the experiences and lessons learned. I may hit rock bottom or make it big, but I'll never forget why I pushed myself to do this in the first place.
Along the way, I hope to fall in love and have the 2.5 kids, dog, and white picket fence life. But this is something that may not happen. And I'm okay with that. I'll be happy enough to have my mother’s unconditional love throughout my life. And with that in my, I can go on with my life.
I will go through my life making mistakes but trying to succeed. Like Thomas Edison said, “I have not failed. I just found 10,000 ways that won't work.”